Pretty much everything John (old engineer I used to rent from) told me about HR people has been true. So's everything a hippie told me back in Dec. 2003. Their impressions about how Seattle (and the crazy/stupids who live here) works has been dead on. I just got off the phone with an HR headhunter (we call 'em vendors). Here's the gist of it (with witty embellishments):
"Um, are you a technical writer?"
"Yes."
"Does it say that on your resume?"
"Did you read it?"
"Oh, no. Wait. Oh, I'm looking at it now. But do you have any samples?"
"My online portfolio is listed on my resume. At the top. There's a hyperlink. Just click on it."
"Oh! Okay. But do you have Microsoft experience?"
"Are you looking at my resume?"
"Wait. There it is. Yes, that's at the top."
"How long have you been out of work?"
"Over a year."
"Wow! Are you on leave or a vacation?"
"Ever heard of the Great Recession?"
"Oh yeah, right."
"Well, there's a lot of tech writer positions out there right now."
"Really?! Awesome, where should I look for them? Because I've been staring at the same job postings on the state Worksource site since December. And some of the postings on Craigslist are starting to grow moss."
"So you are looking for work?"
"No, I thought I'd just laboriously post my resume (after re-writing it six times) on Monster and endure endless moronic phone conversations FOR FUN."
"Do you want to work as a permanent at Microsoft or just as a contractor?"
"They ACTUALLY HAVE permanent positions for tech writers AVAILABLE? Great, sign me up."
"Wait, oh yeah, my boss is saying 68% of their jobs are contract only."
"Ya don't say?"
And this was one of the smarter ones I've dealt with. HR twits are kinda like mosquitoes and wharf rats. We don't really need them. Human existence would trundle along just fine without them.
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3 comments:
Hire 'em off the street, slap a script in front of them and put them on the phone ... oh and, God Forbid, the script should include a bit at the top that says: READ RESUME THROUGH PRIOR TO INITIATING DIALOGUE!
I feel your pain, truly.
Most recruiters are so awful, the wonder is that they are themselves employed.
These days, most are nothing more than sales people - selling to clients and selling to job seekers. It's a numbers game. By pure chance they make a hit once in a while.
I like the calls insisting that I might want a new job when I'm only a few weeks into a role. As a contractor, that happens a lot. I always wonder why anyone would want to hire a contractor who ups and leaves before they finish the contract they're in.
For technical writers, the worst part is that most recruiters don't actually know what a technical writer does.
"These days, most are nothing more than sales people - selling to clients and selling to job seekers. It's a numbers game. By pure chance they make a hit once in a while."
Absolutely true! Thanks Caz.
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