Heart Sea Monkeys

1st Before/After Pic

2012-02-19T15:34:00.000-08:00

Yesss

2012-02-12T13:52:00.001-08:00

Feminists have a sense of humor. Here it is:

Olde Raypey Tymes

2012-01-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

Somebody get this lizard out of my wig!I'm coming to this debate five months late, but since I'm reading the books (just started No. 4) I wanted to say something about the controversy surrounding fantasy author, George R.R. Martin's books aka HBO series Game of Thrones. Completely unfamiliar with this melodrama? Martin began publishing a series of fantasy novels in 1996. He's an obese, old nerd

Pooblished, pooblished again

2012-01-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

But not for money.The Legendary has published one of my short stories, The War with Canada, which is good as it was starting to feel really ignored (if short stories even have feelings). A couple of my other short stories were hogging all the attention.

"It's ALL about the body ..."

2011-12-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Miss Representation was made by documentarian/actor Jennifer Siebel Newsom. Newsom says her impetus for making Miss Representation was the birth of her daughter. She hopes her child’s life will be less limited, bigoted and oppressive than it is right now for anyone born female. Sadly, with every corporate media conglomerate owned by old white men like Rupert Murdoch that won't happen any time

Teaching women's rights

2011-11-24T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lindsay is a public school teacher in central California and a friend of mine. She is amazing, so is her BLOG.Happy Turkey Day to Lindsay and all her students.

Lie to Me (Please)

2011-11-06T22:35:00.001-08:00

A novelist’s business is lying. – Ursula Le Guin, Preface to The Left Hand of DarknessWhat’s the biggest mistake fledgling writers make? They’re afraid to lie. I’ve done this, everybody has. It’s an elephant-sized faux pas in fiction writing.A great deal of writing is born out of journaling, which is an erudite way of saying keeping a diary. Writing tends to have its roots in psychological

The Darkest State

2011-09-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

Kevin Smith's latest effort, Red State, came out in a swirl of controversy. Whiny film critics and distributors threw figurative rocks at him after the initial screening at Sundance in January 2011. Too bad because it's a good and interesting film.I suspect a lot of the ire leveled at Smith comes from the same peanut gallery that slammed him for 1997's Chasing Amy. They went in expecting fart and

I have hiked ...

2011-09-05T10:19:00.001-07:00

... and now I'm paying for it. Oh yes.

But what are you?

2011-08-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is just beautiful!I'm always behind the curve when it comes to whatever is "trending" right now in pop culture or literature but I LERV Samantha Bee's comedic autobiography. It starts out a little serious but finishes real strong.This book has everything you could hope for in an autobiography: an idyllic Toronto childhood, unhygienic roommates, crazy divorced parents AND -- that most taboo

Scratch my back?

2011-07-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

A hundred years ago, way back in about 2000, if a blogger posted a link to your blog (irregardless of what it was) you reciprocated. It was the polite thing to do. Remember polite?Alas, those days and the concurrent politeness are gone. I've had two blogs/websites listed to the right for a while and both bloggers/webmasters recently deleted some comments I made on their blogs.You're probably

Winning?

2011-07-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

Eddie is a schleppy, hipster writer who is unemployed (is there any other kind?) and an eternal under achiever. One day he bumps into his ex's brother who gives him a little pill that looks a lot like either A) piece of dried Super Glue (ooh, don't put that in your mouth!) or B) some suspicious new type of nicotine gum.Ever the game idiot, Eddie takes the pill and slightly dizzying CGI kicks in

Goodbye Amy

2011-07-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

And Russell Brand surprised everyone by writing a lovely and hella insightful eulogy.

Dear Hyper Procreating Jesusfreaks,

2011-07-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

Please stop. No really, stop. You know what's gonna happen on Dec. 31, 2011? Nothing. Likewise for Dec. 31. 2012 and every New Year after that. As the dreary bumper sticker says: Same Shit, Different Day. The traffic jams, the disappearing resources and clean air, the endless wars over religion? It will all still be here, sweetie.No rapture. No baby Jesus come to rescue you from sublimating your

This can no longer be ignored

2011-06-14T09:17:00.001-07:00

Last night in yoga we had one of those instructors. She attempted to inspire everybody by YELLING things like: 'Work the yoga, don't let it work you!' and 'Don't just survive your yoga.' At one point, she attempted to adjust first my deformed left foot while I was in Warrior One and then my trashed left knee. I hissed that I had "joint issues" and she wandered off to yank on someone else's knee.

Hot Papa Bear Seeks Twink Cub

2011-06-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

For cuddle time in the jacuzzi and cruising WeeHoo in my convertible Jeep. Must like: guns, Irish folk music, tea parties, Reagan and light leather. No money? No problem, your Papa Bear will provide for all your super smooth twink needs. Bonus points if you are Asian or Jewish and over 30 but look 18-25.P.S. I have an extensive collection of photos, especially of sexy-smooth waxed, slim cubs.

Remembering James

2011-05-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Cheer up, honey, I hope you canThere is something wrong with meMy mind is filled with silvery stars-- Wilco, Radio CureThe first time I saw James, he was sitting in the UNR Sagebrush offices. He was a bashful 19 year old who, when he stood, was tall enough to block out the sunlight spilling from the front door. This was in fall 1992 when I started going to UNR full-time after years of bouncing

The Agony and Ecstasy of Maoism Meeting Mindless Consumerism

2011-05-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

I just saw Mike Daisey's funny/sad opus, The Agony and Ecstasy of Steve Jobs.Seattle Repertory Theater had a sardines-packed-in-a-can vibe. My seat was smack dab up against one of the theater tech's work stations. But for over two hours, Daisey was a dynamo of brilliance on stage.Most people by now know the gist of the play -- Daisey, a life-long computer geek and die-hard Apple fan -- recounts

The lion in the horse trailer

2011-04-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

Wow, oh wow what a documentary. If Michael Moore implied that Americans were gun fetishists, this movie argues we fetishize everything -- even hapless wild animals who become victims of our smothering codependent love.The film follows Tim, a compassionate public safety officer in suburban Ohio as we learn in chilling detail how out of control the exotic pet business has become. Tim travels to

Once more into the breach

2011-04-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

I got a number of responses to my post about the comic book, Crossed, being displayed without any "mature audience" labels. I'm always thrilled when people post comments. But when they apparently don't READ the post before commenting, I feel compelled to reply.Daniel M. said... You're concerned about a kid reading an adult comic, but shouldn't you be more concerned that a kid is wondering

Oh Tim

2011-04-09T08:15:00.001-07:00

I'm so glad I sent Tim a picture of my boobs. He's so smart and cute and witty and funny and talented. Even when he's whining about the state of newspapers.

Rocking the mockumentary

2011-03-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck take a ride down the white-water rapids of the mockumentary and drag the audience along for fun.I'm not sure if I'M STILL HERE is more THIS IS SPINAL TAP or THE BLAIRE WITCH PROJECT because it feels like the latter, which is good. Phoenix has said they were inspired by the seriously terrifying rise of reality TV shows and that industry's insistence they were not

Analysis of female characters in comic books

2011-03-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

This is pretty interesting, though he kinda drops the ball at the end of the webcast when he fails to mention prominent "progressive" writers of female characters (I'm thinking of you, Brian K. Vaughan).

Censorship is un-American but ...

2011-03-26T09:37:00.000-07:00

I saw something at ComiCon a few weeks ago and it's been bothering me ever since. I'm THE last person on earth to advocate any sort of censorship, especially since it gets me lumped together with evangelists, Harry Potter haters and other groups I can't stand.But I saw a graphic novel (comic book for the uninitiated) that made every single Matrix or Schwarzenegger movie positively pale in

Half the World

2011-03-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

David Horsey blew me away with his latest column and cartoon regarding women's rights which go together with human rights like peanut butter goes with jelly.In case you've been locked in a deep dark misogynist's closet: dozens of UN and WHO studies have shown that when the status of women in a country improves, the whole country improves. It's the 'rising tide raises all boats' theory that works

Sorry Fat Girl Haters

2011-03-08T20:39:00.001-08:00

It must suck being skinny, white male and so full of hate toward overweight women your BP might kill you. But take heart, Howard Stern (who slammed Gabourey Sidibe right before she landed a role on a hit TV drama) will hopefully die of hypertension long before you do. It's a shame too as he's spent more money on hair weave than any other white guy alive. I mean think of the army of hair people

Are We Equals?

2011-03-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

http://www.weareequals.org/

Too Much Information!

2011-02-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

I'm as entitled to my idiosyncrasies and contradictions as much as the next homo sapien. I'm gonna lay down a few realizations I always thought were self evident. And then argue against a common trend amongst vagina owners (and occasionally penis owners too).I like dick, have been a huge fan for ages. While I have a devout preference for washboard abs and Wrangler butts I rarely drop a name or

Occasionally priests still like vaginas?

2011-02-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

Ah-hah, now we get to the truth behind exorcisms. All the free poontang for the exorcists! Priest confesses of 'indiscretion' during exorcismOh and apparently this diaper stain was the poster child for the Catholic anti-abortion movement in America. Was, past tense.I'm not sure what's creepier, this sleaze who's already slunk off into the night or some of the scary Catholic family blogs. One has

Francis Whooo?!

2011-01-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

I sincerely hope somebody files a civil suit against Beck.

Christmas Carol Redu

2010-12-25T09:04:00.000-08:00

I'm finishing an awesome good book by my fav author, Margaret Atwood. Payback is a non-fiction collection of lectures written a few years ago. It's amazing because she wrote it before the Great Recession really hit in late 2008 and, for a fiction writer, she's awfully clairvoyant.What the hell does it have to do with the ultimate consumer holiday, Christmas? Atwood looks at the social concept of

What'd you get for Thanksgiving?

2010-11-27T21:16:00.001-08:00

I got seven (nearly identical) letters from the Department of Education right before Turkey Day. Like hundreds of thousands of others, I am a victim of predatory student loans.Here's a little FAQ.1. Why did I take out student loans? Because I had been going to college part-time for years, taking 100-level classes at community colleges, etc. I was 25 and working unbelievably low-paying jobs. I

'Couve Pics

2010-11-09T09:20:00.000-08:00

There are travel pics. They are now finally all up. Go, look at them, my readers. All three of you.Vancouver

Fucking Monkeys

2010-10-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

(I couldn't resist the title.) I finally got to hear author Christopher Ryan read excerpts from his provocative non-fic, Sex at Dawn, which has been sparking discussion since June.Everybody could have happily giggled the night away when Ryan dropped quips about "penguin poontang" and "fucking monkeys" but the underlying thesis in Sex at Dawn is no joke. In a nutshell, Ryan has surmised that

Greasers Vs. Socs

2010-10-05T22:35:00.000-07:00

This Massachusetts teen committed suicide after she was systematically cyberstalked, beaten and harassed by her schoolmates.Recently Dan Savage (of Savage Love) started a thoughtful campaign to try and stem the tide of bullied GLBT teens from committing suicide. It's called It Gets Better and it's a good idea. My only politically incorrect concern is: why tell just gay teens "it gets better"? Why

Sexy vs. Sporty Spice

2010-09-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Smug Marrieds?

2009-11-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

The above is from Bridget Jone's Diary where the author Helen Fielding called her married friends Smug Marrieds because, ummm, well they are. Or they tend to be.I ran into this phenom yesterday at my final writing class meeting at Hugo House. We read a short, short story by S.L. Wisenberg called Brunch. It was humorous and sardonic and originally ran in the New Yorker.Anyhoo, afterward, everybody

Chance of Frogs

2009-11-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

Just remembering what a mind-blowing film this was when I first saw it. And now, 10 years later, I'm lucky enough to own it on DVD.On the 'Making of', Paul Thomas Anderson looks like he's about 18 years old.On my All-Time, Top 10 Movies List.

The membrane of perpetual stupidity

2009-10-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

I'm okay with fundamentalist Muslims that want to live in the 7th Century. Really, it's okay. It's a free planet -- issue fatwas, kill school teachers, beat women for walking unattended down the street -- you Muslims party like it's 780 A.D.!But when modern American males starts believing a ridiculous myth (thanks, abstinence education!), I must don my feminist cape and do something.Listen up,

Cry for the rapist?

2009-10-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

When I was in elementary school, the Manson Family was always in the news in California.A few years after Sharon Tate was murdered, insult was added to injury of the collective California psyche when Roman Polanski was charged with rape.In true southern California style, Polanski was viewed as this flamboyant, big shot Hollywood director and the judge who tried his case was seen as a 'square' (

Dick Lit

2009-08-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

I've been in a sci-fi writer's group for about a year. I've garnered some awesome friends who are eagle-eyed readers, thoughtful critics and open-minded ... normal folk.But back in January, I had to sort of run the writer's group by myself. It was fun at first but after a couple of less-than-great meetings, I was starting to feel psychically drained.A problem popped up repeatedly and, recently,

Dodgy London

2009-08-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

I went to the UK for the first time in December 2003. I spent my first week "abroad" holed up in Friend One's house down in Somerset; rural, southwest England. He graciously drove me and a couple of others to see the sites -- Glastonbury, Bath, Dorset.In the second week of January, Friend One drove me (and another holiday visitor) up to London. I then stayed with Friend Two at his tiny flat in

I see your un-read novels list, and I raise you!

2009-08-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Supposedly, the BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?Instructions: Copy this. Look at the list and put an 'X' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - (saw the flick)2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien - X3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte - No4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling -

Muscadine

2009-08-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

I started reading this old historical fiction novel the other night that I've been hauling around for years. I became a fan of the author in my twenties and have read most of his stuff, though my memories of specific plot details are real hazy.Anyhoo, I was just gonna flip through this 1988 paperback and then toss it on the Get Rid Of pile but, damnit, the author keeps surprising me. He does

Spontaneous vomiting?

2009-07-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

I love this website but this photo might just do it for me.

Best memoir about adolescence and racism EVER!

2009-07-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

I grabbed a copy of "Jesus Land: A Memoir" on Friday out of a one dollar bin at a bookstore. I just finished it tonight.I seem to always be just behind the curve of cultural phenomenons, and vaguely remember reading a review of this book in 2005 when it hit the literature circuit and Julia Scheeres' searing novel started picking up awards right and left."Jesus Land" is Julia's recollection of her

Unsafe at any speed

2009-07-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

My uterus tried to kill me on Tuesday. This attempt on my life by an internal organ came just before my 44th birthday.I have no idea WHY my uterus tried to do this, she's always been a fairly quiet, taciturn gal unlike my ovaries who spent a good chunk of my twenties psychically screaming at me and offering up grapefruit-sized cysts like some weird threat. Get pregnant now bitch, or your lower

Paranoid, Neurotic, Psycho Feline

2009-06-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

... seeks similar in human owner.Enjoys sleeping 22 hours a day, hiding, cringing, randomly freaking out, kicking cat litter across the room and climbing on kitchen counters when no one is home.Hates sunlight, cuddling, petting, loud noises, other life forms, expensive cat toys, catnip (what IS that stuff?), normal cat food, chicken, being observed and refrigerator motors.Email foster cat mom for

No ... Fuck You, Schultz!

2009-06-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

Stop StarbucksAnd BTW, their coffee is total crap. Tully's is better.

Another Awesome Documentary

2009-05-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sprawling from Grace.

The "Easy Button" Circle Jerk

2009-05-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

After months of stir craziness, I'm about to take the first minimum wage job that comes along. Yesterday I went to Staples' job site. What a pain in my ass some of these HR sites are. An HOUR minimum to complete their form pages?So the first mine in the turd field was this credit check disclosure statement (this is for a minimum-wage job stocking printer paper and holding up a wall):This

Forgive Student Loan Debt

2009-05-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

Robert Applebaum and Kevin Bartoy are better than super heroes. They're ordinary people who are questioning WHY in the fuck former college students should be straddled with unbearable debt FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?! How does crippling debt and non-existent credit = healthy free-market capitalism??? How are we supposed to be good little mindless consumers and help drive the ponderous engine of

Trekkin'

2009-05-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

I went and saw "Star Trek" yesterday. I got to the downtown megaplex waaay too early, so bought my ticket and then had to wander and look at all the stuff I couldn't afford and didn't really need.Anyhoo, the flick was pretty good. Abrams has a knack for gathering casts that have a fair amount of synergy. Zachary Quinto was delish as the new Spock and Chris Pine was surprisingly good stepping into

Fuckidol

2009-04-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, after an un-enthused two hours at the gym (lung infection kicking my ass) I hiked over to Whole Paycheck Market for some bagels and soy milk. In the process of hiking the 1.2 miles to the store I lost my prescription eyeglasses out of my pocket (had the prescip sunglasses on at the time). I spent yesterday late afternoon stomping through rush hour up and down Denny Way in search of my

The DEpression and pets

2009-04-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

MSNBC had a great article on how the 'recession' is affecting pet owners and how the number of dogs and cats being surrendered to the SPCA (and municipal dog pounds) is skyrocketing.I took Mer kitty back to the SPCA today out in Eastgate. She's a love but I just can't be anything other than a 'foster' cat mom right now since I'm not even sure how much longer I'll be living in this area.Anyhoo,

(Foster) Cat Mom

2009-04-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm a foster cat mom now. I signed up as a volunteer with the SPCA a week ago. Mercedes (hate the name, call her 'Mer') has been ensconced here for a week. Her horrible lung infection is gone and I'm FINALLY done force-feeding her antibiotics.When I signed up, I had this picture of a cute, sweet 5-month old kitten to take care of. Instead, the head volunteer honcho handed me a carrier with a 16.5

Creep Me Out!

2009-03-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have a checking account (and almost penniless savings) with a huge, well-known west coast bank. The last few months, the bank has been creeping me out to no end. I have "online banking" but I still insist on the old monthly bank statements.Anyhoo, watching mysterious "overdraft" fees magically appear on my online account one day and then mysteriously vanish the next day is getting old.Yesterday

One dollar's worth of hope?

2009-02-28T11:40:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my checking acount balance plummeted to like minus 10 cents or something. Anyhoo, I fixed the problem and then, weirdly, this showed up in my mail.I've been denied an ETB (foodstamp card) because I "make too much money" on Unemployment Insurance. Then, bizarrely, Washington Social Services sends me this check for a whopping one dollar. Don't know if my balance had anything to do

Best Alternet Essay EVER!

2009-02-21T09:45:00.000-08:00

Boys can't handle this.I'm jealous of 'anonymous', wish I'd written it. I especially like the beginning.And here's yet another Alternet essay I'm jealous of:Stella ... where is your groove?Amanda Marcotte hits point after point when discussing hetero women's sex drives (or the lack of) but this one really stood out:To add to it, sexual desire in our culture is almost solely contextualized as

American Idiot

2009-02-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

On slow nights (we unemployed have a few) I've watched Wife Swap. It's this over-the-top reality show that doesn't just press the offensive button, it leans on it for 54 minutes once a week.One episode had a white supremacist family swapping moms with an African American family. There's been a lot of so-rural-we-say-shucks families mixing it up with city slickers. And Wife Swap has done the

Traveling with Tyler

2009-02-05T16:24:00.000-08:00

This has been floating around the web for a few years but I decided to grab it off a travel site and link it here. It's just ... lovely!And to think ol' Richard was tellin' me about creative minimalism way back in 1991.

Dr. Phil = Not really a doctor, not really wise

2009-01-21T17:18:00.001-08:00

I knew there was a reason I've linked to Feministing.com!!!What an awesome rant on an utterly retarded show.Yeah, fuck you Phil, you creepy shit kicker.

Maybe Omar's torture will end?

2009-01-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

On the first day of the Obama Administration, the President (damn, it feels good to say that!) ordered a freeze on all of the pending Guantanamo cases via those very shady military tribunals.Omar Khadr specifically was mentioned in the presidential order. I posted a link to the original story about Omar that ran in Rolling Stone magazine in Oct. 2006. It's a grim, horrific story about a 15-yr-old

I am Joe's Inflamed Spine

2009-01-17T15:47:00.001-08:00

Haven't posted for a while. Hell, have barely been online enough to check my email, monitor my descent into un-popular on Authonomy and order a couple of discounted DVDs on Amazon.I can't believe I made it all the way past 40 without nary a glimpse into the masochistic world of back injuries.Yup, that's right. After years of lugging 85-pound backpacks up 60% grades for the Forest Service and

Thanks David Horsey

2009-01-04T12:05:00.001-08:00

About 15 days and counting until the Retarded Rodeo Clown rides off to his secret lair in Uruguay.

Very cold

2008-12-14T09:57:00.001-08:00

Saturday night, 10pm.

BUGGER OFF!

2008-12-11T21:24:00.000-08:00

Does anybody else feel stalked by asshats with boomboxes blaring 'CHRISTMAS HITS OF 1997'? The drunk Filipino retirees across the street in the 10-story condo have seen fit to inflict their taste in Xmas classics on all of us tonight. I'm growing to hate living in the city, at least this close to downtown.Anyway, I went crazy a few days back and did a review of every flick that was released in

Author, author!

2008-12-08T09:49:00.000-08:00

I've joined Harper-Collin's Authonomy site. Anything to avoid actually writing. Besides, I'm always looking for new ways to get plagiarized ... er, at least someone would be doing something with one of my stories.In other news supposedly somebody who is the assistant of somebody famous up in Toronto is reading my short-film spec script, "CHIENNE" which is a contemporary suspense/drama set in